We have heard many horrible stories about everything coming to a halt or things taking a lot longer than expected. I have a feeling we are on the road to things taking longer than we expected. Our little boy not having paperwork may slow things down a lot. We have run into snags and delays before, but this time is harder since we actually know our children and have held them in our arms. We just keep praying. We keep hoping that our little girl will spend her 1st birthday with us on March 1st. That is our dream.

Please continue to pray with us. We believe in prayer and we know we need it. We need prayer for guidance, wisdom, and strength. We also need prayer that our little boy’s paperwork will be in the right hands quickly. We need prayer that every official who comes in contact with our case will be fast working and approve all that is needed. Thank you so much for sharing this journey with us. It means so much to us to read your comments and see your interest.

We hope to travel again soon and Ben’s beard will not get totally out of control☺ (he is letting it grow until we travel again). Also, Ben’s new album is actually almost done. We’ll be selling it to help raise money for more immigration fees. We will keep you updated!

-Lindsay

At Christmas time, I always try to keep my mind on why this holiday is so special. I do not want to get so wrapped up in gifts and activities that the true gift of Jesus’ birth is put on the back burner. I do not want Jesus to be an afterthought. This year the birth of Jesus and all events surrounding that time takes on a new meaning to me. I have been thinking a lot about Mary this year. Mary did not only give birth to Jesus, but took the chance of being an outcast or, even worse, stoned to death by being pregnant before she was actually married to Joseph. She did not hesitate when asked to take on this responsibility though. She jumped right in with all the risks. Then there is Joseph. I am sure people noticed that the woman he was supposed to marry was already pregnant. I am sure his reputation and honor were also on the line. However, Joseph’s pride did not get in the way. He still took Mary and her unborn child into his care. He took the responsibility of being the earthly father of the Son of God (which is crazy to even think about). I cannot imagine what was going on in their heads. All the thoughts of what this child would be like or the fear that surrounded this situation must have been intense. I would have loved to hear their conversation as they traveled to Bethlehem. Then, Jesus was born. Everything was changed forever at that point. He was born with the burden of being the savior of the world. I have no idea how Mary and Joseph handled that. I wish there was more about Jesus as he grew up. I want to hear all those stories about him that all parents have of their children as they grow. I also wonder how Mary felt every time someone talked about her little boy being the Son of God, the Savior.

I am so grateful that we have the Christmas story. I am so grateful that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for us. I am grateful that there was a woman like Mary willing to give birth and mother Jesus. I am grateful that there was a man like Joseph willing to adopt Jesus and protect his life as a child. Now, my prayer is that Ben and I would be the parents that the children we are adopting need. I pray that when we tell them the Christmas story they will see beyond the gifts, beyond the lights, and see the baby that saved all mankind.

-Lindsay

Her husband (Brandon) has written a fantastic book called “Barefoot Church” that’s also worth checking out.

That response seemed to sum everything up.  We saw children naked that literally had no clothes.  Electricity and water was a luxury.   There were many grass huts and hand made sod homes.   The only paved streets were the ones that ran straight through town.  Street vendors sold the things they grew and made.  Women walked from place to place with huge sacks of rice or whatever on their heads and their babies strapped to their backs.  The average person had less than the poorest person in Oklahoma.  Now hearing all the stories of how people act while shopping on Black Friday seem beyond ridiculous. The thought that there are people (which include my children) in Africa that do not even have water while people here are fighting over $2 DVDs blows my mind.

The good side, my children are wonderful.  I know Ben already summarized our trip for you, so I will not do that again.  I will, however, tell you how amazing it was to see my children for the first time.  We were able to meet our little girl first.  I will never forget walking into the yard and her sitting out front on a table.  She watched us with those huge eyes from the moment we entered.  I cannot even describe to you the joy I felt as I held her.  She is small for her age, but she is so smart and has a personality that lights up a room.  We were able to see her several times throughout our trip.  She is pulling up and trying to stand on her own (which I have to admit looks pretty funny considering her size).  She is aware of all activity that is going on around her and wants to grab everything within her reach.  She was even giving kisses to a stuffed toy fish we brought her.  I feel like we did not just pick her, but she picked us.  My heart melted the first time she reached those tiny arms out for me to hold her and laid her head on my shoulder to sleep.

We traveled for an hour and a half to see our son the second day we were there.  We did not hear anything about any boys before we left on this trip so we really did not know what to expect.  We walked through a village that was made up of many grass huts and children.  The adult caretakers were very few.  At the back of the village was a small grass hut with four brothers.  That was the first time I laid eyes on our little boy.  As strange as it sounds, it was liked something clicked and we knew that was him.  He walked through the village with us hand in hand.  We watched as he ate fruit, sucked on the seed, and then spit it out.  When we reached the front of the village, we gave him a ball and teddy bear.  Ben would roll the ball and our little boy would kick it (soccer is the big sport over there).   A few minutes before we left, he was sitting on my lap and leaning into me.  I was in heaven.  This was the only day we got to spend with him, but it was a great day.  He stole my heart.

Now we are back to waiting.  We are praying this will be a short wait.  I am dreaming of the day I am able to hold my babies in my arms again.  That is the only thing that matters right now.  That is the only thing I can focus on.  I wish we could just fast forward time to the day we bring our children home.

-Lindsay

It’s difficult to explain the emotional roller coaster that is adoption to one who’s not been through the process.  And when I say “emotional roller coaster” I’m not talking about the kind of Xanex-crave-inducing highs and lows that manifest in bitter tears and exuberant elation (although that can be the case sometimes), I’m talking about the almost constant kind of mind racing thoughts that swing violently from one extreme to the other twisting your guts all up inside in the process… “Did we make the right decision?”  “Did we really hear God on this or just make it up on our own?”  “Where the crap is my passport?!”  “My daughter has the most beautiful eyes.”  “Will my son hate me for taking him from the only ‘family’ he’s ever known at this orphanage?”  “He’s going to be a great soccer player.”  “Is this really how this is supposed to go??!!” …that’s what I mean.

After 44 hours and about 15,000 miles of airplanes and airports we arrived in the small, remote town in the middle of nowhere some 1,200km north of the capital city.  [I’d tell you to close your eyes to picture this next part, but then you couldn’t read what I’m about to type]  Imagine the smallest airport in the smallest town you’ve ever seen (whether in person or on T.V.), now cut that down in size by half and you’re getting close.  It’s one of those one-runway jobs, paved thankfully, with a single metal building for the airport.  After deplaning we waited in the airport lobby – not much bigger than our living room – for our contact to arrive.  The crowd slowly thinned as the 50 or so people on our flight got into vehicles and left for the town until the only ones who were left were me, my wife, and the two [yes, two] airport employees.  We waited for another hour with no sign of anyone coming to look for the strange white people.  Thoughts racing.  Remember that emotional roller coaster I described?  Yeah, that.  We had a borrowed cell phone that would work in the country which I had purchased a SIM card for the night before.  Yet in all our planning ahead I didn’t have the forethought to get the phone number for our contact. (I know, I know… go ahead and hurl your reprimands at me for that one).  The plan had been for him to meet us at the airport with the rental car he was driving in from a neighboring country when our flight landed.  I managed enough Spanish for the Portuguese-speaking airport employee to understand that I needed the number for our hotel — see, we didn’t make the reservation our contact did — so I had no printout with the hotel phone number or even a confirmation number. (Keep it coming, I can feel the heat now).  After multiple dropped calls to the hotel and a massive communication barrier they managed to understand we needed to be picked up and sent a car to get us.  Arriving at the front desk I gave them our names and [thank God] they were expecting us… roller coaster leveling out a bit.  A couple hours later our contact arrived at the hotel and apologized for being late; through no fault of his own he had been delayed at the border for a few hours by the police.  We were grateful and excited to see him, and he us.

Straight away we went to meet the orphanage director.  After a brief meeting with the director he took us to see the little girl we had previously received pictures and bio information about.  We felt an instant connection.  This was our daughter.  She’s 8 months old, feisty and strong with big brown eyes that melted our hearts instantly.  I wish I could put into words what it was like watching my wife hold our daughter for the first time but I know I can’t, so I’m not even going to try.  We spent a handful of minutes holding her and snapping pictures – she nearly wrestled my iPhone from my hand and I was happy to let her have it – then left to continue to our next destination.

The director took us to a boarding-school type area a few miles away where the 50 or so orphans who lived there were busy getting registration papers filled out with the help of a government official who was there.  Many of them had no “official” paper trail of their existence so this was a big, positive step for their futures.  We met many of the kids and snapped a couple group pictures.  I was amazed at how happy these kids were despite their circumstances.  My heart was swelling with Jesus’ words; I knew that “the Kingdom of God belonged to these.”

Later that afternoon we went to the director’s church, he’s also a pastor, where a seminar was being held.  It was the end of a two day training for local church members and pastors teaching them how to care for orphans and encouraging churches, through the members of their congregations, to take in orphans both by foster parenting and adoption.  Lindsay and I were absolutely amazed.  Here was a room full of people who had very little compared to Western standards and yet were opening their homes to share what they did have with those who have nothing.  This was “the kind of faith that honors God.”  The Kingdom of God belongs to these.

After the seminar we met a man outside the church who spoke English quite well. Before this moment only our contact and another wonderful man, who was a local pastor also helping us, were the only people we’d met who spoke English.  As we stood outside the church, the man mentioned that he was an ordained pastor in the United Methodist Church.  I told him that I’m a worship leader at a UM church in America and we set off on a lively conversation about traditional vs. contemporary worship in the Church [an entirely different post I’ll save for later.  For now I’ll just say it’s not an issue unique to the West].  After several minutes of conversation he asked if I’d ever heard of his favorite songwriter/worship leader “Charles Hall.”  I told him I play guitar for Charlie and he was absolutely floored.  The pastor told me about being in the U.S. last Summer for some continuing education for seminary and that he had attended a Charlie Hall concert while there.  He described stopping by the CD table afterwards to take a picture and meet the band.  We had met in passing in the U.S. more than a year ago!  Remember how small and remote I described this place being earlier?  There was no way this was a chance meeting.  Roller coasters.  He went on to describe how he wasn’t even supposed to be there that day.  He had previously planned a trip to the U.S. to visit some friends over the Thanksgiving holiday but decided to stay behind at the last minute as another friend of his in the country where we were visiting was having surgery later that week.  He was also not scheduled to be at the seminar that day but decided to stop by as it was a seminar his church was helping support.  There are a lot of things I don’t understand about God and the way he works.  Now before you go accusing me of being an apostate, I know it’s not a politically correct thing for people who are leaders in the Church to admit they struggle with “why” and “what” and “how” and “when” and “are you even real” questions but, believe me when I say many (if not most) of us do whether we’re willing to admit it or not.  So many questions I’d been wrestling with for quite some time were silenced in that moment.  This “chance meeting” was ordained by God.  There were simply too many coincidences for it to be coincidence.

We were later having a conversation with this pastor and our contact who is also a pastor from another country in Africa.  The UMC pastor asked our contact man what his last name was.  After hearing the answer he quietly said “Brothers and sisters, this day must be written on our hearts forever.”  He then told us his wife’s maiden name… it was the same surname as our contact-pastor-friend’s name.  These two pastors from different countries in Africa who had never met were in-laws.  We were also told this wasn’t a common surname.  Roller coasters.  Too many coincidences to be coincidence.  It’s difficult to explain the significance of this apparent relation between these two pastors.  Those who have some familiarity with African culture understand what I’m saying.  Family, and properly honoring those within the family, is everything to these wonderful people.  It’s different from Western culture in that it doesn’t matter how “distant” the relation might be, family is family.  Heart full.  Questions silenced.

The next day we made the 150km journey to an even more remote town.  The orphanage director had previously explained to us that he had to split up the 250 or so children in his care to multiple townships because there simply weren’t enough resources in one place to care for all of them.  This orphanage was laid out like a small village.  All of the orphans were living in small grass huts, 3 – 5 orphans per hut, spread out over about a square mile.  There were several women also living there caring for these children.  Prior to our trip we hadn’t received any information on a boy.  We were told that the boys were all at this secondary location and because the journey was so far we would have to make the trip once we were in the country to possibly identify a boy we’d like to consider adopting.  We had seen pictures and received bio information on our daughter in advance.  We were walking into this second location “blind” as it were.  Our prayer was that it would be clear who (if any) was the right little boy for us to adopt.  After walking through much of the orphanage and meeting most of the children we came to a tiny hut on the backside of the property.  We saw a little boy there just about the age we were hoping for.  Lindsay and I felt instantly drawn to this boy.  We asked what his name was.  The caretaker responded that his name was “Obvious.”  What?  Did we hear you correctly?  Obvious?  [Remember what I said about praying it would be clear who the right boy would be?]  After asking for the spelling we discovered that it isn’t spelled the same as the English word “obvious” and would in fact be pronounced a bit differently if read by a Westerner.  But it was clear to us.  Too many coincidences to be coincidence.  We hung out for awhile with the little boy and I got to play ball with him for a bit.  We took some pictures we could print out and leave with him so he’d recognize us when we return.

We attended church Sunday morning in a cinder-block building with a dirt floor and no roof.  That experience could be another post entirely.  The joy with which these people worshiped, dressed in their Sunday best, was absolutely contagious.  No cool lights, no sound system, no fog machine, just Jesus.

The rest of the trip was spent in meetings with the orphanage director and completing all the necessary paperwork to get the process started.  There were several other really big moments of “divine intervention” that we can’t share the details of just yet but will hopefully be able to share after the process is completed.

On this day of thanksgiving we are so very thankful for all the prayers that so many of you were praying on our behalf during this trip.  Your faith was strong even when ours was tested.  Thank you.  You absolutely made a difference and your prayers are forever linked as part of our story to bring our kids home.  Part of the reason we’re “journaling” this process is so that we can remember it all to share their story with them as they grow.

We also ask for your continued prayers that the process would move forward without roadblocks while we are back home here in the States.  There are a few key documents on that side that need to be created and processed in order for the children to legally and officially be ours to adopt.  After this first trip our faith is strong that all of that stuff will happen without a hitch.  We also believe it was your prayers that helped make such a huge difference this first trip so we humbly ask for your continued prayer for this journey.

That’s all for now.  Check back soon for updates.  We hope to have news about the timing of our second trip soon!

- Ben

** I’ve posted a few pics from our trip on here.  As much as we’d like to, we can’t show you pictures of the kids yet since they’re not legally ours.  The pics of the grass huts are from the village where our boy lives.  The cinder block building is the church where we worshiped on Sunday **

A week from today, I am going to finally find out if we are also going to be parents of a little boy. I will finally know his name and his face. I will finally be able to play with him and hear his laugh. I will finally see a little boy with the best dad in the world.

A week from today, Ben and I will be making the trip that will start a new journey to parenthood. A week from today we will need your prayers like never before. We will need prayers for not only safety, but also strength. We need your prayers when we have to turn around to come home and leave the children we just met. We need your prayers that everything will be better than planned with the government and immigration to bring our children home soon.

A week from today is all I can focus on.

A week from today our lives will be changed forever.

-Lindsay

I’ve said here before that the international adoption process is a big game of hurry up and wait. Well, we’ve waited and waited… and waited. And now we’re hurrying. Some things have fallen into place in just the last 6 – 8 weeks that have left us scrambling to get details nailed down as quickly as possible to fly to Africa in just over a week from now! We’ve gotten pictures and background info of our soon-to-be daughter — she’s beautiful. (we’d love to show you but can’t do so yet legally) She’s 7 months old right now and we can’t wait to hold her in our arms! We’re also working on getting info on a little boy. We’ve printed and signed reams of paper of government and legal documents necessary for the adoption to be approved, purchased airplane tickets and hotel rooms, gotten the necessary immunizations and preventative medications for our trip, and now all that’s left is to pack the suitcases. [breathes deeply] We are excited but exhausted – and we haven’t even left the country yet!

As as result of the way government systems are setup in most African countries, we will have to make two trips. On the first trip we’ll meet our kids, the orphanage director, a government social welfare worker, and begin the paperwork process on that side to adopt our kids. The documents we’re required to fill out and submit while in Africa can take up to a month to process and since we don’t have the luxury of taking a month off from our jobs we will have to make a second trip to bring our kids home.

Because of the generosity of friends and strangers joining in our story through donations and participating in our fundraisers throughout this entire process, we are all set financially… for one trip. Our hope was that we’d be able to spend around two weeks in Africa getting all the paperwork processed and bring our kids home without going back a second time. But, unfortunately, that simply isn’t going to be possible. This first trip we’re taking in just a week or so to start the legal process will be just five days long; there are a ton of meetings and time at the orphanage that need to happen during that five days, but we feel confident we’ll be able to get it all done. Our second trip will [hopefully] happen sometime in December and will be the one where we pick up our kids to bring them home! We’re not far off from where we need to be financially to make that second trip, we just need to raise a couple thousand dollars more.

As part of our fundraising efforts we’ve got some new stuff for sale on the blog! (I think the kids these days call it “swag”). We have a brand new t-shirt design and shirts are now available in kids’ sizes as well – something several of you asked about with our last run of shirts. There are some cool new slap-watches available in two sizes (and four different colors) with artwork similar in design to the shirts. Also, there are a few hats and scarves that Lindsay crochet’d by hand still available. I have a few that I wear throughout the colder months; they will certainly keep you warm and they’re much more well made than something you’d find in a retail store.

Take a look at the new stuff [swag] by clicking the “Join With Us” tab at the top of this page! There’s also a “Donate” button on that page that sends a secure donation through PayPal depositing it directly into our Adoption Fund bank account for those who’d like to participate in that way.

To be clear: we aren’t worried or stressed about the finances at all. We know that when God directs people to do something he also provides the means to make it happen; we’ve seen that time and again in our lives. We also know that God uses his Church (capital C) to accomplish his purposes through his people.

Thank you for your prayers and support! Check back soon for more updates.

- Ben

Monday was our home visit with our social worker. That means last weekend Ben and I did tons of work on our house with the help of our friends Amy and Andrea. We finally finished landscaping our front yard, painted our hallway, cleaned, and did several other jobs that needed to get done.

When our social worker came Monday, we sat at the dining room table and answered about a hundred questions, together and separate. She did a quick walk through of our house, but it turned out that none of it was really as big a deal as I thought it might be. The main things she was looking for was emergency numbers on the fridge, fire extinguisher, smoke detector, and chemicals put away out of reach of a child. So, for all those out there that are looking to have a home study done in the future, do not stress about it. Just make sure you have the basic things you need and a clean, safe home. We are glad, however, that we did all that work; it’s nice to have it all done.

After all our references are in, our social worker will write a report on us that will be around 10 – 11 pages long. Then we will be on to our next step that involves immigration for our child (or children) and getting ready to make our first trip to Africa. We are also planning some additional fund raising to help cover the cost of our first trip. Keep checking back, we will do our best to keep you updated.

-Lindsay

We keep hoping to receive pictures that we can share with you, but that has been delayed.  We also found out today that we will be making two trips to Africa.  The first will be to meet our child or children and government officials.  We will be filling out paperwork needed to complete the adoption.  That trip will take about a week. Then we will plan for our second (and last) trip.

With every step, we become closer to being parents.  Thank you for your prayers and staying with the blog even though there has not been much news lately.  Since we now know we will (for sure) be making two trips to Africa we’ll need to raise some additional funds beyond what our original estimates/goals were.  International airline tickets are not cheap!  The costs are adding up but thankfully the process is speeding up greatly.  Ben is working on an album that will be available soon as part of our fundraising efforts.  We’re also in the process of planning some additional fundraising endeavors that you’ll hear about soon, so check back often!

We will keep you posted.

-Lindsay